With each generation that passes, the role of parenting evolves. Cultural changes and technological advances mean that parenting today looks very different from parenting in the past. Think about how much the world has changed just since the 1950’s. Car seat and seat belt laws. Standardized testing and school choice. School shootings and lockdowns. Vaping and fentanyl. The internet and social media. Cyberbullying and teen suicide.
Today’s digitally connected world opens the door to a whole realm of new dangers that didn’t exist just a generation ago. Digital exploitation and sextortion are now on the long list of things about which a parent is responsible for teaching and equipping their children.
As parents are scrambling to stay ahead of technology in the race for their children’s time and attention, it is important to know the signs to look out for that indicate that your child could be vulnerable to online exploitation. Individually, any one of the signs may not mean anything, but a combination of several in your child’s life may indicate significant risk.
Here are a few things to pay attention to.
Sign #1: They access their device in a private setting.
Kids are especially vulnerable to online exploitation because their brains are still developing. They haven’t developed the critical thinking skills to judge what is safe, recognize danger, and know how to respond to a threat. This is why parents play such a critical role in teaching kids how to interpret and make sense of the world.
When kids are given unlimited access to the digital world with little guidance or supervision, it is like letting them walk down the middle of a freeway alone. The risk of them getting hurt is extremely high. If your child is online regularly without parental oversight, there’s a very good chance they will encounter a predator looking for a target for exploitation. In fact, Thorn.org reports that two-thirds of minors have been asked by someone they met online to move from a public forum to a private conversation on a different platform.
Additionally, research shows that the adolescent brain is particularly vulnerable to exploitation because it is highly motivated by social attention and peer approval. So naturally, teens especially are drawn to online relationships that offer those things. What an adult might recognize as a sign of grooming, a child may interpret as an innocent conversation or online relationship.
Helping your kids understand the dangers inherent in private online interactions is one big way you can protect them from being targeted for exploitation.
Sign #2: They have a public social media account.
Social media is a nearly universal way for teens to engage with the world. In fact, a 2023 report from the US Surgeon General states that 95% of youth between ages 13 and 17 use social media.
While the US Federal Trade Commission has recently proposed regulations to restrict companies from tracking personal data for children, these regulations do not address the question of whether a teen account is private or public.
As long as teens are able to have public social media accounts, they are a potential target for exploitation. With a public account, anyone can follow them and start up a conversation with them. There are few built-in safeguards for monitoring who can contact them.
And then there’s the question of what they share on social media. The more images your child shares publicly, the more likely they are to be targeted for exploitation. A person may comment on one of their photos or start to build a relationship with them. Over time, they will foster this relationship and build trust in order to exploit them.
Artificial intelligence has added another dimension to the risk of digital exploitation through social media. Any photo accessed online can be uploaded to AI tools that generate fake nude images, and then a perpetrator could use the fake images to extort money or real explicit images from unsuspecting youth.
If nude or explicit images of your child exist online, you can visit Take It Down, a free service by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
Sign #3: They spend regular time on Discord, Snapchat or Instagram.
Some platforms, like Discord or Snapchat, have certain features that lend themselves to exploitation. Discord has hidden communities and private chat rooms. Snapchat, with its disappearing messages, provides a way for people to send threatening messages and target victims without fear of retaliation. Instagram has reported a growing number of sextortion cases on its platform, especially among adolescent males.
If your child spends regular time on platforms like Discord, Snapchat, or Instagram, be aware that just by engaging with these platforms, they are vulnerable to exploitation.
As rates of online exploitation continue to rise, many social media platforms have been under close scrutiny for their filters and parental controls. Last year, two of the most historically permissive platforms, Snapchat and Discord, introduced parental controls called Family Center. TikTok has created a Family Pairing feature, and Instagram also has a Family Center in addition to requiring all users to verify their age as 18+.
Despite the increase in regulations, social media platforms continue to create environments where digital exploitation thrives.
Sign #4: They are part of a vulnerable population.
Individuals who are more vulnerable offline are also more vulnerable online. Whether it’s race, sexuality, intellectual ability, economic status or a variety of other factors, identification within vulnerable groups increases the likelihood that a teen may be targeted for exploitation.
For example, research shows that LGBTQ+ youth are twice as likely to become victims of sextortion as heterosexual youth.
Additionally, those with disabilities or mental health challenges are nearly twice as likely to be coerced into sharing sexual images. Because digital communication is often hidden from parents, teens in these vulnerable populations may find themselves in situations they lack the emotional maturity to manage. This is especially true for those with disabilities.
Here is a list of vulnerable groups who may be more at risk for digital exploitation:
- Youth with experience in the Child Welfare System (especially Foster Care)
- Youth with experience in the Juvenile Justice System
- Runaway Youth / Homeless Youth
- LGBTQ+ Youth
- Youth of Color
- Youth with Mental Health Issues or Intellectual Disabilities
- Youth in Poverty
- Immigrant and Refugee Youth
- Youth in Addiction or Abuse
- Youth in Families with a Trafficking History (Familial Trafficking)
If your child is a part of one (or more) of these groups, be aware that they are particularly vulnerable to being exploited.
Again, taken individually, each of these things may not be cause for alarm, but a combination of more than one over time increases the likelihood of exploitation.
Now for some encouragement. As a parent or guardian, YOU are one of the best ways to keep them safe! Educating yourself on the dangers of the digital world and then staying involved with and connected to your child is one of the most effective ways to protect them.
Here are a few ways to do that.
Stop exploitation before it starts.
Be active and engaged parents even if it’s challenging. Once a child steps onto that dark road, it is really difficult for them to step off again.
Trust your intuition.
In nearly every story we have heard about teens and online exploitation, their parents say they “just knew something was off.” You know your kids. If you feel a check in your gut, pay attention.
Be a soft place for your kids to land.
Model this posture early and consistently as they go through difficult things or make choices you disagree with. In doing this, you will have built relational collateral. If they become the unfortunate target of a sextortion scheme or are groomed by a predator, they will know they can come to you and get the help they need.
Know what to look for.
When choosing a target, former Child Exploitation Detective Brett Lee has found that online predators almost always ask kids the same three questions:
1) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
2) Are your screens private (in your room or unobserved)?
3) Do your parents have access to your device and passwords?
So consider: If someone your child met online were to ask them these three questions, how would they answer? If they would say: No, Yes, and No…then they may be more susceptible to exploitation.
Keep in mind, predators target teens of both genders – and boys more often than girls, according to recent data. Additionally many will at some point attempt to lure a child to another less-monitored platform to chat.
So talk to your children. Ask them if any of these questions have come up. Find out if your child has been in touch with someone who has invited them to a new platform. Share with them why it matters.
The more proactively and regularly you can engage with your kids on these hard topics, the more they’ll be aware of the warning signs of potential exploitation and know that you’re paying attention and ready to help them avoid it.
Ready to take the next step in protecting your family from online exploitation?
Influenced Parent Academy is our online course created specifically to equip guardians with a deeper understanding of the dangers that exist in the digital world and the simple actions steps that can help prevent exploitation in your child’s life.
Influenced Parent Academy will soon be available as an online course you can participate in anytime, anywhere. Complete the form below to be notified as soon as it launches!
